The Missing Piece Was Me
I thought I was chasing success. Really, I was running from myself.
For years, I believed if I worked hard enough, pushed long enough, and achieved enough, I would finally feel like I was enough.
So I worked.
And worked.
And worked.
I pushed myself harder than anyone else could.
I thought pressure was discipline.
I thought exhaustion was commitment.
I thought if I wanted something bad enough, I had to earn it through sacrifice.
But somewhere along the way, I lost sight of something important.
The missing piece wasn’t another achievement.
The missing piece was me.
The Separation
Recently, someone from a community I used to be a part of called to check on me.
The conversation was fine. There was nothing wrong with it.
But when I hung up, I realized something.
I wasn’t searching for validation anymore.
I wasn’t looking for permission.
I wasn’t looking for someone to tell me I was on the right path.
And for the first time, I felt completely okay with that.
Growth creates separation.
Not because you’re better than anyone.
Not because you’ve figured everything out.
But because eventually you stop needing everyone to agree with your journey.
You stop trying to convince people.
You stop trying to prove yourself.
You simply keep walking.
There was a time when I felt like I had to defend every decision, explain every move, and justify every dream.
Now I realize that the people who are meant to understand will understand.
And the people who don’t won’t.
Both are okay.
More Than What I Do
One of the biggest lessons I’ve been learning is that I am more than what I do.
Photography is something I love.
It is not who I am.
I’m Joseph.
I’m a father.
A son.
A brother.
A partner.
A friend.
A human being.
For a long time, I tied my identity to my work.
If photography was going well, I felt valuable.
If photography wasn’t going well, I questioned myself.
That’s a dangerous place to live.
Because when your identity becomes attached to what you produce, you begin to believe your worth rises and falls with your results.
Lately, I’ve been practicing something different.
I’ve been learning how to appreciate myself when the camera isn’t in my hand.
I’ve been learning how to value the person, not just the work.
And honestly, that has been harder than learning photography ever was.
Learning to Give Myself Grace
I’ve been reading The Man the Moment Demands by Jason Wilson.
One idea that keeps staying with me is the importance of grace.
Not excuses.
Not avoidance.
Grace.
For most of my life, I never gave myself permission to make mistakes.
Every failure became evidence that I wasn’t good enough.
Every setback became another reason to be harder on myself.
I thought self-criticism was how you improved.
I thought being tough on myself was what successful people did.
Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t motivating myself.
I was punishing myself.
I was carrying resentment toward myself for mistakes that every human being makes.
No wonder I felt exhausted.
No wonder I felt like I was constantly chasing something.
When you’re always fighting yourself, even success feels heavy.
Rest Is Part of the Work
There’s a line that has been sitting with me lately:
“As hard as you work, you must rest harder.”
For most of my life, I treated rest like a reward.
Something I earned after the work was done.
But the truth is, the work is never done.
There will always be another goal.
Another project.
Another challenge.
Another mountain to climb.
If I keep waiting until everything is finished before I allow myself to rest, I’ll spend my whole life exhausted.
The version of me from a year ago was trying to build something.
A business.
A portfolio.
A future.
But in the process, I forgot to take care of the person building it.
I forgot to take care of me.
Today, I’m learning that growth isn’t just about becoming more productive.
It’s about becoming more whole.
It’s about creating from a place of love instead of fear.
It’s about trusting that what God placed inside of you doesn’t need to be forced.
It needs to be nurtured.
The Right People Will Find You
One of the most unexpected things that’s happened lately is that people have been complimenting me.
Not my photographs.
Me.
And every time it happens, I’m almost speechless.
Not because I don’t appreciate it.
But because I spent so many years believing nobody noticed.
Maybe they always did.
Maybe I just never allowed myself to receive it.
What I’ve learned is that when you stop performing and start being yourself, something changes.
You attract different people.
Different opportunities.
Different conversations.
Not because you’re trying harder.
Because you’re finally being honest.
The truth is, staying true to your path will separate you from some people.
But it will also connect you to the people who were meant to find you all along.
And maybe that’s the point.
Not to become someone else.
Not to prove anything.
Not to chase validation.
Just to become more fully yourself.
For the first time in a long time, that feels like enough.
Always a nice read, sending best from Portugal